Extra: Doris Day's biographer shares details
Posted by Lorrie Lynch
Doris Day is not hot. She is no longer a big star. But she is a remarkable and talented woman who made her mark on Hollywood at a time before TMZ, when public and private lives were separate. In public she was the all-American girl. In private it was a different story and that's the one biographer David Kaufman tells in his new book Doris Day:The Untold Story of the Girl Next Door. Our Jon Tollestrup had an extended conversation with Kaufman about the woman and the book, which hit stores earlier this month.
To read our revealing interview with Doris Day's biographer, click on the Read More link.
Q: Why write a biography on Doris Day?
I felt her talents had been neglected. She was so much more talented than her reputation suggested. I think the first 16 or 17 of her 39 pictures were made under contract at Warner Bros., and among [the company’s archives] were all of these incredible reviews — and most people aren’t aware of the vast bulk of those early films. Unfortunately, her husband/manager subjected her to so much schlock at the end of her film career that [it is those] she’s remembered for. Commercially, they were successful, but they harmed her legacy.
Q: The research of this book is meticulous. How long did you spend writing this book?
That’s complicated. I first interviewed Mitch Miller [a former executive at Columbia Records] eight years ago, so — in that respect — yes, I began eight years ago. But I did not devote myself to it on a daily basis until four years ago. So I would really say it’s a four-year project. But, also, I can say that it really begins with my childhood, when I really became enamored with Doris Day. To be a biographer is not only to be a detective; I think you also have to be obsessed with your subject. If not, I don’t see how you can do it because it’s something you live with for years.
Q: It seems like you quote anyone who ever knew Doris Day. How many people did you end up interviewing for this project?
It’s somewhere between 150 and 200, which is why at one point I gave out the figure 175. But I have not done an actual count. The other point I would make is that it’s not a matter of how many people I interviewed, but it’s how many people I befriended who were close to her. Many of her good friends have become friends of mine — Kaye Ballard [a recurring guest star on Day’s TV series, The Doris Day Show] being at the top of that list. Kaye is like a surrogate mother to me now.
Q: Did you try to contact Doris herself to participate?
I did. After the Liz Smith column, Doris’ publicist contacted me, and I wrote Doris a letter and she did not respond to it. I have since called her several times and have not gotten through. My last call was a few months ago. I was calling to tell her that I had just finished writing the book, not the edit. The woman who now takes care of her answered the phone, and I said, “It’s David Kaufman calling for Clara Bixby [a pet name Day’s close friends refer to her as].” And I heard her say, “It’s David Kaufman for Clara.” Then I heard Doris say, “Tell him I’m feeding the doggies, and I’ll call him back.” [Laughs.] Of course she didn’t, but the point is she has known about my book for three years now and has not told anybody to not talk to me. Five of her intimate friends have encouraged her to talk to me, and it’s not like she said, “Why did you talk to him?!”
Q: Why do you think she still didn’t consent to an interview even after her close friends encouraged her to?
This is another major part of the story. She’s only gotten over the pain of her past by not looking back and talking about it. I knew that before I started this biography. I knew that even if I could talk to her, I could not ask her questions about the past.
Q: In the course of all of your research and interviews, what is one of the biggest surprises you learned?
I think the biggest surprise was that she has spent her whole life being insecure about her looks and her talents. I was astonished to learn this from a number of people I interviewed who had specific anecdotes — beginning with Mitch Miller, who saw her in her one-and-only cabaret act in New York at a place called The Little Club, a month before her Hollywood breakthrough in 1947. She was throwing up offstage before going on because she was so nervous. I guess part of the reason it’s such a surprise is because she had spent 10 years as a big-band singer. But Doris, herself, throughout her life, giving so many interviews, talks about this and what she explains is that when she was singing with a big band, the focus was on the band.
Q: Why was she so insecure?
There are reasons for [her insecurity] — it’s like armchair psychology. Her father was simply not there for her [when she was] growing up or for the rest of her life. So, because of that, her want — her need — to please others became a primary motivation. She was looking to get love from her father, which simply was not there. The other thing is that she was a Hollywood makeover. If you look at her in her first two films, she is not the beauty that she becomes. She’s somewhat plump. So, as beautiful as she is, she’s not as beautiful as she becomes. She herself, after looking at some of the rushes [prints of a motion-picture scene processed directly after the shooting for review by the director or producer] of her first film, was so displeased that she told her husband-to-be, Marty Melcher, that she didn’t want to make movies because she couldn’t stand to see herself onscreen. And because of that, she never saw her films. That was another eye-opener — the fact that she would not see her own movies.
Q: Not even at the premieres?
She would show up at a premiere to introduce it, but she would sneak out the door when the film began. That’s part of the story. Her insecurities are just so monumental.
Q: These days she leads such a private life that I think many people don’t even know that she’s still alive. Does she ever come out in public?
In the last 30 years of her retirement, she has withdrawn. On the one hand, she continues to speak to friends, and she will do occasional telephone interviews, but she will not be seen. She does not want to be seen. I do not go into this in the book, but I will tell you that when she has a doctor’s appointment, in recent years, the doctor clears his dock so that nobody else is in the office, and she is driven in disguise with a floppy hat so that no one will recognize her. The last viewing that I’m aware of in public is when she went to the Cyprus Inn in Carmel, Calif., last summer. And according to people I spoke with last August, who had seen her in June, she looked gorgeous. But she has to spend hours to prepare for looking that way, and she doesn’t like doing that. She really prefers just staying at home. I don’t know about this happening in the last few years, but from 2000 to 2004, if she had arranged a lunch with anybody, she would say in the morning, “Oh, I don’t want to have to get dressed — why did I ever do this?!” But then she would do it, she’d go to the lunch, she’d come home and just go on and on about how wonderful her time was, seeing these old friends. On the other hand, Oprah, as arranged, went to see Doris in recent years, and Doris canceled at the last minute. So Oprah made her way to Carmel, and Doris wouldn’t see her.
Q: Wow, that’s pretty brave to cancel a lunch on the almighty Oprah!
[Laughs.] She doesn’t care. She’s the No. 1 female movie star of all time, and she just doesn’t care. But her mood speaks to her being a creature of the moment. If I call her at the right moment, she would talk to me. But it’s getting her at the right moment. Kaye Ballard calls her many times without getting through, and Doris doesn’t call her back. But when she reaches her at the right time, they have the most wonderful conversation that’s like they had just seen each other yesterday.
*To read an excerpt of Kaufman’s book, check out last month’s issue of Vanity Fair online at:
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/05/dorisday200805.
Comments (64)
I know i will never meet you, I have to say you were my idol... cassara sarra, my fovrite song my mother had on record. I would dance around the living room thinking "what would I be" You are the best!
I had the honor of playing the lead in our high school musical "Calamity Jane". It was the high point of my "career" and I loved every minute of it. It was a dream of mine come true. Doris Day is and was a wonderful actress much loved by everyone who grew up watching her. I wish her health, happiness, and peace from all of those prying eyes! Thank you, Doris Day, for your work and lifetime of devotion to animals.
well as someone who too understands what is like to want to please everyone only to come up empty, i just know how Doris feels, dogs dog judge you or get mad at you if your are late, love you unconditionally, i too would rather spend time with my dogs than have to go to work every day. so give her the respect she so greatly deserves,she is in God's eyes truly loved cause she cares for his creatures so much.
Mr. Kaufman is a waste of space and so is his book.
I logged on to this cite to find out what Doris Day is doing now. I only hope that she reads all the messages we have written about her, I also grew up loving her movies, I still have several albums and movies she made, I watch the movies over and over and listen to the albums. As long as I live I will always love her, she is still America's Sweetheart.
i always enjoyed the movies that doris day was in.
what was so wonderful was her voice and any age could see her films.
I read the article about David Kaufman, truly I can just picture Doris Day saying of all the nerve. The only thing I want to hear about Doris Day is that she's fine and happy with her life. She's not like other past movie stars who want to make a comeback. I have been a Doris Day fan since my dad introduced me to musical movies and thanks to him he took me to all the movies in the 50's by Doris. I could say alot more, but the most important thing to me is that she has always been my favorite actress of all time as well as her beautiful singing. Why is it so important to analize and tell everyone how she felt about herself when she did movies and her private life? How does one come to this conclusion without actually interviewing her? My only regret is that I never saw or met Doris Day in person.
Rita, always so quick to defend Mary Anne Barothy's betrayal of Ms Day...how nice! Do you defend the rest of her actions as well? is it alright with you, how she behaved when she was working for Doris Day? because to me it sounds like it.
How about how she treated Ms Benjamin? that OK with you to? got her to help her write the book, putting in endless hours of work...and what for? sweet nothing...not even an acknowledgement! and really whether Ms Benjamin encouraged Mary Anne Barothy or not, what has that got to do with her more recent treatment of her? seems to me, like a lot of betrayal going on by Mary Anne Barothy...oh well why break the habit of a life time, I suppose...
If you waste your money buying "Day At A Time", you are putting your money into the pockets of a person who has no empathy for her former employer, and who consistently does harm to the person she claims to "admire" and "still loves."
If you buy Mr. Kaufman's book, you are doing a similar disservice to Doris Day, because here is another so-called author who spent 8 years studying Ms. Day's past and present only to come up with a series of interviews from former employees who had vendettas. Of course, getting interviews from those kind of people were easy, because here was their chance to grind their axes. Apparently, it was not important to Mr. Kaufman to interview people who know about the great heart and the gentle kindness that encompasses a great humanitarian known to us as Doris Day...because books like this just thrive on
accumulating garbage. He spent 8 years and still has no clue of the lady he wrote about...what a waste of time! Don't waste your time or your money on either one of these travesties. This has nothing to do with being a jealous fan...it has everything to do with honor and decency. Both it appears are severely lacking from these two authors: Barothy and Kaufman!
LAUREN wrote: "Don't even bother with the Barothy book. It was written 35 years ago out of anger because Barothy was fired from Doris Day's employ for good reason. Barothy, an egomaniac, takes every opportunity she can to try to "cash in." Miss Day has written a letter to her fans about the authors of the many books that have been written about her in the past few years. She assures her fans that she has had "no contact" with the authors of these books and that they are opportunists.
Barothy's so called awards are tiny little specks in the cesspool of Indiana's nobodies but she's in there plugging like the narcissist that she is.
Barothy is at the top of the list with her tiny, pass-ant little missive about her stalking days with Doris. Barothy is a sociopath. At least Kaufman did some research.
Posted by: Don't Bother | Jun 30, 2008 12:16:21 AM"
This mean-spirited post was written by the very person who ENCOURAGED Mary Anne to write her book, and who also was one of the fans that she refers to as "stalkers." She is a hypocrite with multiple personalities and is in dire need of strong medication. Don't pay any attention to what she says.
As for Mary Anne's awards, one of them was a second place NATIONAL award given by top industry professionals from across the US selected for their expert credentials.
DAY AT A TIME is a fun read by a fan who lived out her dream, and then some. The naysayers are just fans who were jealous that Doris picked Mary Anne for the job instead of them.
...here we go again! Can't waste a single opportunity to promote your own betrayal of Miss Day can you Ms Barothy?
Your memoir? No, just a blatant betrayal of the trust Miss Day placed in you.
Oh my goodness!!! got to give her 10/10 for cheek and a severe case of 'hanging in there'. Mary Anne you forgot to tell the nice people out there how you taped Doris Day in at Bailey's restaurant and in her own home on lots of occasions.
Oh and please don't forget the bit about how you went to the 'gutter press' when Doris cottoned on to your sleazy behaviour and told them exactly what you thought of Doris' mother Alma...I heard she had a stroke from the humiliation!
Win any prizes for that at the Press Communications Contest?
Oh my goodness!!! got to give her 10/10 for cheek and a severe case of 'hanging in there'. Mary Anne you forgot to tell the nice people out there, how you taped Doris Day at Bailey's restaurant and in her own home on lots of occasions.
Oh and please don't forget the bit about how you went to the 'gutter press' when Doris cottoned on to your sleazy behaviour and told them exactly what you thought of Doris' mother Alma...I heard she had a stroke from the humiliation!
Win any prizes for that at the Press Communications Contest?
It sure seems the whole world loves you, Ms. Day, myself included. You are everything they say and much more. Through your singing and movis, you have brought much entertainment and joy to others. Wish there were a way to do the same for you.
I too, belong to the Doris Day Animal League, and have for a number of years. What you do for the animals shows your generousity and love, not to mention the compassion of a beautiful soul.
God made a masterpiece in you, may He always bless you and yours.
Sharon
i really love everything about Doris Day and go on about it all the while to my friends, im 25 yrs and love sitting and watching her films over and over. they really cheer me up and wish i was back in those days. i have most of her films but cant locate all but do check on the net all the while.
Miss Day will answer she is so busy with the animal centre she runs in her home in Carmel Ive been writing to her now for 20 years and have had many replies, she is older now and very busy even yet but Im sure she will answer you, put your letter in bright big envelope that way you might be lucky and she ll pull it out first hopefully.
Don't even bother with the Barothy book. It was written 35 years ago out of anger because Barothy was fired from Doris Day's employ for good reason. Barothy, an egomaniac, takes every opportunity she can to try to "cash in." Miss Day has written a letter to her fans about the authors of the many books that have been written about her in the past few years. She assures her fans that she has had "no contact" with the authors of these books and that they are opportunists.
Barothy is at the top of the list with her tiny, little missive about her stalking days with Doris. At least Kaufman did some research.
Be careful what you buy.
Don't even bother with the Barothy book. It was written 35 years ago out of anger because Barothy was fired from Doris Day's employ for good reason. Barothy, an egomaniac, takes every opportunity she can to try to "cash in." Miss Day has written a letter to her fans about the authors of the many books that have been written about her in the past few years. She assures her fans that she has had "no contact" with the authors of these books and that they are opportunists.
Barothy's so called awards are tiny little specks in the cesspool of Indiana's nobodies but she's in there plugging like the narcissist that she is.
Barothy is at the top of the list with her tiny, pass-ant little missive about her stalking days with Doris. Barothy is a sociopath. At least Kaufman did some research.
Be careful what you buy.
I love Doris Day! Love her voice, love her movies, love her kind soul and sparkling spirit. I have seen every one of her movies and loved them all. Her autobiography was fascinating, and she is my favorite star of all time. I have great respect for her, and am so happy to know about the two new books about her. I will make a trip to the bookstore to purchase them today. Thank you, Doris Day, for all the joy you bring to the world. You are beautiful in every way possible.
There are no words to describe how I feel about Doris Day. I am 65 and have seen her movies, listened to her music. She was a able to do comedy and also drama so great. When I watched her movies, I often dreamed I was her. I would have liked to meet her and talk to her about animals, as I love animals too. I have been a member of her animal league for many years. I have been hoping that her tv series, Best Friends, about animals would come out on dvd. It was most helpful and she would always sing a song in there. Before my time is up, I would like to see her onc more time. I wish her well.
I too grew up with Doris Day in the fifties and was once told that I looked like her while living in New Orleans. What a compliment! I am one of her most avid subscribers to the animal rights she does so well for those who cannot speak for themselves. We love you Doris Day. You are an American treasure. Please keep up the good work. God Bless you!
I wish Ms. Day only knew how much people loved her! As a teen in the late 50's and 60's, I never missed one of her movies. I so loved them, ..everything from the stories, to her style of clothing, hair, etc. To me she was/is just beautiful, and the epitome of what a woman/lady should be. I also admire her devotion to animals. I am an animal lover, and have always had at least 2 pets in the house. ..at the moment, I have 3!....animals are nicer than some people!! I believe they give so much love . I've been a widow for 3 years...the pets give a person a reason to get up and get going!! So to me she is just not a great movie star, but a person with a kind , loving heart. The type of person we could use more of. I do wish she'd consider an 'Oprah type' interview...I , and I'm sure many others, would love to see her again!
I have been in love with Doris Day all my life. My favorite picture was "Love Me Or Leave Me" which I have seen over 20 times. Maybe all her fans should write the Academy Awards and suggest they give her an award for her many years of great movies. That may be one way to get her out again so that we may see her for one last time.
i sat in the capital theater in 1944 and heard doris sing sentimental journey for the first time in public waited at the stage door and said hello and i though the song was great.have been a fan ever since; and yes i do have an autograph picture of doris. lots of love your friend bill metz
David Kaufman has done a wonderful totally researched book and tribute to Doris. I am thrilled that my Dance with Doris in 1993 is mentioned, a real Day Dream come true for me, along with the book!